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Not My Job
Helping to raise toddler-aged twins has been very helpful for teaching myself what was right and what was wrong in my own childhood. Though I’m working with twins, they’re fraternal, and really no more...
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The Destruction of Love
I was thinking about the adage that children who were abused/neglected/unloved tend to choose mates like their parents (so do loved children from healthy families for that matter) and I was trying to...
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Mourning what never was
I used to pride myself on not wasting time on what might have been, I guess I still do, which is part of the struggle with my recent situation. I’m mourning my childhood, the lack of parental love....
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Living Inside of My Head
I recently learned that it is a common thing for abused children to create a safe world inside of our heads and go there when we’re sad. I had always thought it was just me, just some weird crazy thing...
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Tried as an Adult
I came across this article about a 12-year-old-boy who killed his younger sister a couple days ago. It’s a horribly sad situation for everyone involved and I’ve debated about posting this at all...
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The interaction transaction
Sometimes I get hit with it in waves, this crashing attack of sadness and loneliness. I’ll be fine, then something happens that I instinctually want to tell a specific person, only to remember that...
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Childhood Lost
When you realize as an adult that you endured an abusive childhood, it turns your life on its ear. You have to re-evaluate your past, your habits, your behaviors–even if you don’t actively pursue this...
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Dear Dad
Dear Dad, It’s been 20 months since I’ve seen you, nearly a year since those emails from what I refer to as The Father’s Day Massacre. I will never send you this letter, I don’t want to encourage you...
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When no one knows you
When I was young, I remember saying so often, “Nobody listens to me!” No matter what I did or said, my parents usually opted to ignore it and come up with their own answers. If I said I liked blue,...
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What Fathers’ Day Means to Me
On Fathers’ Day last year, my father sent me a string of abusive emails, in which he refused to do anything but blame me for everything wrong in the world. My responses went ignored, my words unheeded....
View ArticleLiving Inside of My Head
I recently learned that it is a common thing for abused children to create a safe world inside of our heads and go there when we’re sad. I had always thought it was just me, just some weird crazy thing...
View ArticleTried as an Adult
I came across this article about a 12-year-old-boy who killed his younger sister a couple days ago. It’s a horribly sad situation for everyone involved and I’ve debated about posting this at all...
View ArticleThe interaction transaction
Sometimes I get hit with it in waves, this crashing attack of sadness and loneliness. I’ll be fine, then something happens that I instinctually want to tell a specific person, only to remember that...
View ArticleChildhood Lost
When you realize as an adult that you endured an abusive childhood, it turns your life on its ear. You have to re-evaluate your past, your habits, your behaviors–even if you don’t actively pursue this...
View ArticleDear Dad
Dear Dad, It’s been 20 months since I’ve seen you, nearly a year since those emails from what I refer to as The Father’s Day Massacre. I will never send you this letter, I don’t want to encourage you...
View ArticleWhen no one knows you
When I was young, I remember saying so often, “Nobody listens to me!” No matter what I did or said, my parents usually opted to ignore it and come up with their own answers. If I said I liked blue,...
View ArticleWhat Fathers’ Day Means to Me
On Fathers’ Day last year, my father sent me a string of abusive emails, in which he refused to do anything but blame me for everything wrong in the world. My responses went ignored, my words unheeded....
View ArticleMorbid Child
I’m feeling morose tonight. My uterus, who usually leaves me alone to the point where my periods are almost unnoticeable, has been giving me the Estrogen Sads for days now and so, I’m going to write...
View ArticleI’m Jealous.
I was going to title this post “Irrational Jealousy”, but then I thought that was bullshit, because it’s not irrational. Irrational means that something is neither logical nor reasonable and this makes...
View ArticleFood Nostalgia
I’m Jewish, but the household I grew up in was anything but kosher. Personally, as an adult, I kept kosher for 8 years and kept a kosher kitchen for at least 4 of those years (the rest of the time I...
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